The Kool Killington

I’m a novice photographer trying to figure out how to...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 09:32:29 -0400

I’m a novice photographer trying to figure out how to become better at my craft.

Photo

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:57:27 -0400

Photo

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:56:38 -0400

Photo

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 17:25:38 -0400

Photo

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 17:24:31 -0400

Photo

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 17:23:25 -0400

Thinking forward

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 17:42:26 -0400

I doubt anyone is really reading this but you know that kind of makes me feel better to type this out.

For one thing I don’t know what I want, I dream for something large but don’t have the balls to go for it. I could leave Houston if I wanted to, I could ask for the money and go to where ever I wanted and maybe see if I could make it in the word, however I know for a fact I can not and that’s what gets me. After 26 years I still haven’t learned to be responsible for me. I let others take care of me and most of the time let others walk all over me, which is where I fine myself today wondering where it all began, although it doesn’t help me to think of how it happened and when it started but that is what I fine myself doing these past few months.

You see i’ve lost quite a few friends of late and almost lost my job to boot, because of my immaturity and my insecurities. It doesn’t help that I was talking alot about what was bothering me to all the wrong people and letting them see me in a weaken state. Needless to say I am tired of showing that person and I want to start standing up on my two feet, except I don’t know how to do that, as well as not knowing where to go in the future. The thoughts going through my head is being an actor or a director, maybe even a producer but my confidence is shot and that’s my fault i’m afraid. I know now that I could have brought myself back up but didn’t, I could have said fuck you to those people who put me down but I didn’t, I could have enjoyed myself around good company and people who just generally wanted to have a good time but I didn’t.

Its a could have would have should have kind of though but it doesn’t matter anymore because the world is moving on without me. I’m not saying I need to rush but I do need to move on. At the moment i’m left here not knowing how to fix things with myself and others but instead maybe I should just work on school and getting there. Hell maybe I’ll take the acting class and figure out if I do want to do it, the worst thing that can happen is I fine out I don’t like acting. Although I know it isn’t failing is what i’m afraid of, no I am afraid of succeeding in what I want. I mean what am i supposed to do after I get it you know, how can I be angry anymore or how can I be satisfied with normal and happy. Depression is an addiction that I have and I want to break it but I cant do it cold turkey. Yes I know its easy just pretend to be happy and you will be or work hard and you’ll fine yourself more of a mature person than you thought. Well maybe your right but I have to do it my way and use my voice.

I want to be a writer as well as an actor, director or producer but my confidence in my talent is lacking. I could have worked on it while volunteering at the theater in school but well that tanked, I managed to not only quit but show everyone that I am upset with them. Why was I upset? Why did I have this paranoid feeling that everyone hated me? These are all the questions I had to ask myself because I really had no reason to feel the way I did. All I had to do was stop talking… That’s it in a nutshell if I had stopped talking so much than feeling awkward would have passed by because my awkward saying wouldn’t have left my lips and people would generally talk to me about interesting things.. Except I didn’t do that I made myself seem depressing and paranoid. Anyway I cant keep kicking myself I have to move on and fine away to get where I want with out feeling like such a loser. I suppose i’ll figure it out one day soon, I just need to love myself first before I can really get out there.

did-you-kno: Source

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:53:55 -0500

did-you-kno:

Source

Photo

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:53:19 -0500

Lessons Learned

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 12:56:35 -0500

Well I have learned a few good things these past 3 months. For one thing I have learned not to trust every person I meet, in addition I learned that if you cant trust someone then dont stay their friend. I really dont know what to do from here but more importantly I have no idea what I was supposed to learn from this break up I had as well as this friendship I have lost. However I did learn one really important thing and that is to move on and dont look back.

visual-poetry: “stop & start” by anthony discenza

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 12:38:01 -0500

visual-poetry:

“stop & start” by anthony discenza

fuckyeahmovieposters: The Lion King by Eric Tan

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 03:13:41 -0500

fuckyeahmovieposters:

The Lion King by Eric Tan

did-you-kno: Source

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 03:13:24 -0500

did-you-kno:

Source

theartofanimation: Alex Andreyev

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 03:09:09 -0500

theartofanimation:

Alex Andreyev

fuckyeahmovieposters: The Fifth Element (Zorg ZF-1) by Dean...

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 01:23:42 -0500

fuckyeahmovieposters:

The Fifth Element (Zorg ZF-1) by Dean Walton

fuckyeahmovieposters: The Matrix by Adam Armstrong

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 01:08:52 -0500

fuckyeahmovieposters:

The Matrix by Adam Armstrong

totalfilm: Spielberg talks Tintin sequel and Jurassic Park...

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 01:07:36 -0500

totalfilm:

Spielberg talks Tintin sequel and Jurassic Park 4

Steven Spielberg has been doing plenty of press recently in order to plug equine war movie War Horse, and has given an update on the upcoming Tintin sequel as well as the status of Jurassic Park 4.  

We’ll deal with Tintin first, with Spielberg confirming that he and Peter Jackson will swap roles for the sequel, with the Kiwi occupying the director’s chair and Spielberg handling production duties…

janejana: ¯\(ºдಠ)/¯ what is this i don’t even

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 01:05:23 -0500

janejana:

¯\(ºдಠ)/¯ what is this i don’t even

Me and the moon, While my friend takes the pictures.

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:45:00 -0500

Me and the moon, While my friend takes the pictures.

"Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. Mark..."

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:43:16 -0500

“Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain”

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http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mark_twain_11.html#ixzz1jPO7NIpC